so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
