i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
