remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
