you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
