I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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