i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
