The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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