well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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