Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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