We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize