I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
