yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
