so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
