I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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