you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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