Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
