What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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