The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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