Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
