ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
