maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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