Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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