Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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