I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
