Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
