Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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