i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
