I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
