Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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