i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
