Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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