I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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