there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize