Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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