I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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