i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
