So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
