just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
