I must be too annoying 4 u.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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