I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
