yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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