It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
