dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
