I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
