Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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