I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You made out with two different species that night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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