you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
