apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
