It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
