I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize