i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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