so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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