my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Randomize
