did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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