Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
