So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
