oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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