After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
