the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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