My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
