nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
