I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
