Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i love accidental penises.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
