Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
